28, October 29, 1990
Saratov region, Loshchinny village/ Russia
Saratov region, Loshchinny village/ Russia

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Comment #147078
Wednesday, 7 February 2018 10:46
At the beginning of the letter I want to apologize for the delay with my answer. I hope
you are not angry with me. Unfortunately I didn’t have an opportunity to answer earlier.
I think you haven’t forgotten me and my latest answer. You know when I got your email
I wanted to answer at once but I couldn’t. I get the access to the computer now.
Something had gone wrong with my email that’s why I have to write from this email address.
Now please write me to this address. I’m absolutely happy that you’ve found time to
answer me! I’m very glad that you’ve sent me the letter.
Before I start telling you my story let me inform you about a very important fact. I hope
you’re not disappointed that I don’t live in your country (I think you’ve already guessed).
I sincerely hope it doesn’t frighten you. I’m the same as ladies living in different
country. I’m just a human being with a heart and soul. I suppose my nationality and
location don’t disappoint you and you will answer my email. I think the nationality and
cultural difference are not the most important things in a ladies for you. By the way in
the nearest future I’m going to travel. Maybe I visit your country and who knows we are
possibly become friends or maybe even more… and if your interest isn’t limited only
by distance and boundaries I’ll be really happy.
Now let me tell you a few words about myself. I live in Russia. The village I live in is
called “Loshchinny”. It’s a small village where just 1500 people live. Maybe you’ll try to find my
place on the map. It’s not far from Saratov (a large city in the south-west of my country).
In my childhood I dreamed of becoming an interpreter of the English language and I
wanted to work with our President to know state and international secrets.(smile).
But the fortune disposed in a different way. I started my education in a medical school.
After finishing school I entered Medical University. Now I work at hospital. I’m a gynecologist.
Pawel I promised to send you my image and now I keep my promise.
I hope you like them. In addition I want to say that my hair is light though I change it
sometimes. My height is 5 feet 6 inches. My weight is 125 pounds. As you know I’m 28 years old.
I was born on October 29 in 1990. Of course tastes differ but maybe you’ll like my image
and my appearance. In other case if you don’t like my appearance please let me know,
I won’t disturb you any longer.
I should say I’m an optimist in the depth of my heart and it helps me in my life. I’m not
a little girl and I see my life from a philosophical point of view. I can’t make myself an
absolutely happy woman. I’ve got a wonderful job and good house. But there are things that
make people happy. They are not material things, they are more than that. I was the first
who wrote that. It means I’m ready to share my thoughts with you. I’m very glad and
grateful you’ve written me. In any case I hope you are interested in our dialog and I’ll be
looking forward to getting an answer from you. At the end of the letter I want to ask you
simple questions. What is your profession? Do you like your job? Have you got an
experience in communicating with people from other countries? Maybe you’re more
qualified in it than me. If you don’t want to answer the questions please don’t do it. It’s
just my woman’s curiosity. I’ll be extremely grateful if send me your photos. I’m sure
to save them in my computer.
Best regards.

P.S. Your email went to my spam folder so I did not see it immediately.
I was interested why. To me have recommended to place you in a "favorite list".
Maybe my answer to you too get in spam? Place me in a "favorite list".
Friday, 9 February 2018 08:04
Hi Pawel!!! How are you doing? How did you spend your day? I hope you are glad
to get my email? When I got yours I was in the seventh heaven, I was the happiest lady
in the world!!!!!!!! Thanks a lot. Now I want to explain the fact about my opportunity to
write you letters. I send my emails to you from my job because I haven’t got a computer
at home. The computer I use is in the Accountant Department. The lady who works with
the computer lets me use it for my personal purposes sometimes. It depends not only from
me and my desires, unfortunately. I work from Monday till Friday. It’s Russian standard.
That’s why I won’t be able to send and get emails on Saturday and Sunday. But sometimes
I have to work at weekends because any pain hasn’t got a schedule. (smile) I suppose you
remember I’m a gynecologist. That’s why I will have an opportunity to write you on Saturday
and Sunday.
I cannot use the Internet. We have the Internet only some times in day -
for receiving and sending mail. And I cannot use the Internet.
Therefore I cannot use facebook, messenger and skype.
Now I’m going to tell you about my interests. My hobby let me say so is the
English language. I have been interested in it for so long since my school years. The educational
program in Russia includes learning foreign languages. As a rule they are English, German
and French. I started learning English and now I’m extremely happy that I made the right choice.
I absolutely love the English language. After finishing school I continued learning the language
at the University. I had been learning English for 18 years. I want to know it perfectly. I speak
English. Maybe you’ll like my accent (Russian I mean) I have. It’s possible there are some
mistakes in the text but I’m sure you won’t offend.
Another hobby I have is knitting. It’s the deal of my life. My mum taught me how to knit in
my childhood and now I knit clothes (sweaters, jackets and waistcoats) for my friends and
myself. I adore knitting and I like wearing woolen clothes. Almost all warm clothes I have got I’ve
knitted myself. I don’t know if knitting is popular in your country as for Russia it’s really fashionable
and uto date. What else can I tell you about my life? I haven’t got children, I’ve never been
married. Of course I had relations with men I even thought that they were serious and would last
long and come to marriage but I was mistaken. Now I have got nothing but bad and painful memories.
Pawel, how can you describe your character? As for me I’ve never tried to describe the traits
of my character but nevertheless I’ll try. I live with a smile on my face and a hope in my heart.
I consider myself an optimist. And maybe it helped me be the first to write. I’ve seen and experienced
a lot in my life. During 28 years I’d been overcome a lot of difficulties. You know I don’t need much
in my life to be happy. All I need is a real man who will be my friend, my love and support forever.
And it happened so that now I’m looking for him in such a way. I don’t think it’s wrong. And what do
you think of it? I live honestly and it brings me satisfaction and pleasure. I know happiness doesn’t
need a lot. Maybe the most essential thing I lack now is love. A human being can’t be happy without
love. I mean not only love between a man and woman but also love to the family. For instance,
I haven’t got a family and it really oppresses and depresses me.
Pawel, do you often meet your relatives? I really miss the time when I had a lot of relatives.
I want to return it. Are you looking for a soul mate or just a friend? What are you looking for in
the soul mate, Pawel, if it is so? I hope to hear from you very soon.
Best regards.
Monday, 12 February 2018 09:10
Hi Pawel! Today definitely good day - day of dialogue with my friend
Pawel! (Smile). How it is wonderful to receive something that you really
wait. And in a case with me it of course your letter! Thank you! Today was a
difficult day, and dialogue with you removes my physical weariness. The
quantity of patients has considerably increased for some last years. Here many
people lives in the remote areas, impassable districts. They lives even without
an electricity in absolutely unsuitable conditions for a life. And it certainly
becomes the reason of a plenty of diseases. The sad fact. Sometimes I want our
president to live here instead of the Kremlin, simply to understand what life
is. Maybe in this case all wars would end much faster? Forgive me that I tell
you about our problems, simply I write all what in my head. If you do not like
to read about it - simply tell me.
By the way Pawel I have asked you about your family in my last
letter because it really interestingly for me, as all my family has passed
away. My parents were military, mom was the military doctor, father was the
military officer and we hadn't constant house because they very often got the
about new place of service, in places with the military conflict. Therefore my
childhood was not very cheerful. We lived in temporary habitation outside of
zone of conflict, therefore sometimes I did not see my parents some weeks, and
I was at home absolutely alone, being an eight-year girl. Therefore since the
early childhood I am able to cook, sew, knit and do any heavy physical work.
Now I absolutely agree that it's correctly said that:"Thing that does not
us makes us stronger". Don't you agree Pawel? When father got new place of
service near to Kazakhstan, I have gone to study in the good medical university
in Tomsk. I lived in student's hotel on distance of 600 kilometers from my
parents. But we had meeting some times in the year. Later my parents got new
place of service and have left to live in the Loshchinny. And I saw my parents
only once in one year. At university for the first time in my life I have found
a true friend (it is Svetlana) who is my best and reliable friend till now. We
have together passed through a hard time when have been compelled to study and
work in the evening and at night,- just to support itself. After ending of
university I was to get direction for intern in Tomsk area, but I have received
the letter from mom where she informed that daddy has been killed in military
collision. There is nothing worse than to find out about death of the parent
from the letter. After that I began to live with mom because I was afraid to
leave her lone at such difficult period. One and a half year ago my mom has
passed away. I will not describe all pain and suffering which I had at that
time. Simply I want to tell that all ups and downs, all pleasures and
misfortunes that were in my life have led me to who I am now. The destiny was
not tender with me, but I am grateful to my destiny for my parents, I am
grateful to my destiny for my friend Svetlana, because it really a gift of
destiny. And I hope Pawel you are not angry with me that I talk to you about
it? It is my life and it is a part of me. And how you would learn me more if I
would not tell you it, really? And I as well would be glad to learn more about
you. Your life is very interesting to me. Are you grateful to destiny for
anything in your life Pawel? Do you like the nature, rivers and lakes, woods
and mountains? Are you religious person Pawel? I will wait for your letter
so please write me soon! Sincerely and with the best regards.
Your friend (I hope) Elena.
Tuesday, 13 February 2018 08:15
Hi, Pawel! Today I had so much work that I was afraid that I wouldn't have
time to get your letter. And I have to say that it is distressed me. But now I
have found free time and very glad. Thank you for your kind letter. My last
letter was sad. That's why today I will try not to write about sad things. How
there were your day? Now I am smiling and have a good mood, because today we
found out that in two days into Saratov will be coming big exhibition of rare
breeds of cats and dogs. It is great news because at this exhibition there will
be the best representatives of rare breeds, collected from all of Russia.
Everybody wants to visit this exhibition because it will last only for several
days. I like animals very much. Can you imagine that I never was in a zoo? It
is my dream. Have you ever been in zoo? We have here several small menageries,
but I dream to see giraffes and rhinoceroses, hippopotamuses and bears. I never
saw tigers and elephants in real life. Have you ever seen a tiger or a bear?
The biggest animal I saw in my life is a horse. I like horses very much and
think that these are the most beautiful animals in the planet. As matter of
fact I have always dreamt to have some pets. Unfortunately a horse hardly would
be placed in my home (smile). I dreamt to have cat or dog. But when I
think that a little puppy will wait for me home, alone, I feel pity. That's why
I don't have pets.
The fact that you are in a wheelchair does not disturb me. I
communicated with many people in similar position and I only was convinced
that such people in comparison with any others possess very kind heart and
open soul. I see that you are sincere, kind and sensitive a man and it is the
main riches of any person. For me the most important in the person is
heart and soul.
What else to tell about myself? I always very much get tired on work.
And though my work is not heavy physical work but like any doctor, I am in
constant concentration and an internal moral strenuousness, because the health
of people depends on my attention. I am always waiting weekends with
impatience. Weekends are the only one possibility for me to get a rest and to
get new forces. Weekends I spend variously. Sometimes I want simply to rest in
my home. I live alone in my home. I like my home - small and cozy. On weekends
I always clean home properly. I like purity. And though I always try to keep
clean my home, all the same, always in the weekends I find what work to make in
an home. But when I want really to relax I listen to music or read books. I
like to read books especially historical novels about ancient Russia or other
countries. I like to spend time with my female friends. I have two best lady
friends. When we meet, the air is filling with laughter. We like to walk and to
talk; we go to cinema and walk in the park. If you want I can tell you about my
friends. I like very much to spend time in nature in the open air. I like the
sea, but should tell that I have been there very seldom. I like woods,
mountains, lakes and the rivers more. Camping in Russia is very popular. I
adore to go to the forest and to live in a tent though now I have such
opportunity seldom. I like to look at night illumination and cars headlights. I
like very much to look at the stars. In August our sky abound with stars. It is
incredible beautifully. I like to cook on the fire. There is nothing more
wonderful than when the fragrances of forest, rivers and smoke mix together in
the air. I am romantic undoubtedly. I really like to cook. I know that I do it
well, because I started cooking from childhood. My mother taught me many things
including cooking. She said: "Lady who can cook well doesn't have
and demerits, because tasty food is a way to the man's heart (smile). May be
she was right. We have In Russia many national dishes, such as an okroshka,
uha, borsch, golubtsy, pelmeni. I am not sure if you know such dishes. These
are Russian national dishes. Also I like Italian food (pizza, spaghetti), I
like sea foods. Once I even tried sushi. What dishes do you prefer Pawel?
Looking back at your life would you like to change something? I have to finish.
I hope my letter was not stodgy and uninteresting. I will wait for your letter
with impatience. I wish you peace and kindness. Elena.

P.S. I put a picture of my house in which I live. It not so good and big, but
cosy to live in
it. The house was inherited from my parents.
Thursday, 15 February 2018 08:15
Hi, my dear friend Pawel! Day by day I feel more need in getting your letter.
My mood has become better again when I have got your letter. I should say that
when I have good mood I hear gratitude from my patients much more often
Therefore, now the health of a Russian people depend on your letters (smile
I will be very grateful to you if you will send me your picture.
To my regret I could not visit an exhibition. Last days was a lot of
work and I could not go to Saratov. But it not death (smile). By the way, when I
came to work today, my mood was bad, because my friend Svetlana fell ill and now
she is in the hospital. The saddest thing is that she has birthday today. She
is 30 years old today. Unfortunately she will spend her birthday in the
hospital. But I have already talked with a doctor and I will be allowed to
spend evening in her chamber. In the evening I will bake a cake, I will buy
balloons and go to the hospital. I hope very much that she will have good mood
on her birthday. She is my best friend. By the way, she works with me in the
clinic. Svetlana the doctor the otolaryngologist in our clinic. As a matter of
fact I have only two real friends - Svetlana and Nadezhda. Svetlana is a lady
who is in
the hospital. Nadezhda is our friend already for several years. Svetlana and I
like sisters. We like to take a walk. Usually we walk in the park. But also we
like to spend time in Svetlana vegetable garden. She lives in an old wooden
I don't know if you have seen such houses. It is the houses which were built
before the Second World War, in the fortieth years. These are very old houses
which don't have bath and running water. So people have to take water outside
in the well. In modern world such conditions seem very terrible, but this is
really so. We like to spend time in Svetlana vegetable garden. There she grows
potato, tomatoes and cucumbers not to buy them in the market. Every winter
Svetlana, Nadezhda and I together build a big Snowman in her vegetable garden,
using a
big snow spheres. We put carrot instead of nose, and potatoes instead of eyes.
It is very funny. All neighbor's children came to see it. By the way, if we
want to fool about, we put carrots not only instead of a nose but also
below..... (hint and smile) First time we made such Snowman 10 years ago. Since
that time we do it every year. It is a tradition for us. We poured it with
water to cover with ice. So it could stand for the whole winter. I like
Loshchinny. Almost all people in our village know each other. Svetlana says
that she
wants to live in a big city. I don't know where is better. Big city is a big
traffic, fast rhythm of life, garlands of fires, lightning's of shop windows,
high buildings, fountains, cinemas, parks, attractions, theatres. It is
wonderful, of course I like it. But our village is a fresh air, a lot of trees
and birds, silent and comfortable, cozy, quiet place, no hubris and vanity
inherent for big cities. We have a lot of small and large lakes and rivers. The
places are very beautiful. If there was no criminality, it would be paradise.
But alas, the criminal in small cities, as well as in the big cities is an
integral part our life. Unfortunately the crime in Russia is on a very high
level. But I don't want to tell about sad things. Several times, Svetlana,
and I went to the festival of bard song. This is a place on the coast of the
river where a lot of people come from all country. At night the coast is
covered with thousand fires lights. The scene is a huge raft having the form of
a guitar and established right on water and everybody who wants to sing
together with famous bard singers, goes on this raft and starts to sing. And
all thousands people become silent and listen to this singer even if he is
absolutely unknown. It is the unique festival. I have to finish my letter. I
don't want but I have to do it. Today when I will come to Svetlana we will talk
about you. She likes to ask about you and I like to tell her. I wanted to ask
you what makes you happy Pawel? What was the best gift from a woman you got?
Sincerely your, and with best wishes.
Tuesday, 20 February 2018 10:06
Hi Pawel! At once I want to tell that Svetlana sends you her greetings. I was
in hospital and we have spent her birthday very well. I wanted to bake a small
cake, but it has turned out on the contrary. The cake was huge. It weighed two
kg. When I have brought it to hospital, we have divided this into set of
pieces; and all doctors and some patients that were in this small branch are
drank tea and ate a pie together with us and everyone was glad and happy. I
have brought a lot of balloons. She was very glad and grateful to me. The day
is wonderful today and the weather is good. The sun is shining all the day. To
add to all this I have got your letter and my happiness doesn't have limits. So
what about your weather? May be today after work I will take a walk. I like to
walk along the street and to breathe the fresh air, especially when the weather
is warm. As a matter of fact I don't want to go home. At home is very boringly
and lonesomely. Sometimes I don't notice it, but sometimes when I come home
with good mood, I want to talk very much, to share thoughts with anybody, to
have fun. But my home is empty and I have to be in full loneliness. And my good
mood disappears. I simply sit down into the armchair and look at the window.
And when the silence deafens me, when I hear movement of my eyelashes, at that
moment the hoop of loneliness compresses my heart. I can listen to music or
read a book. I can go to my friends. But in some moment I understand that I
just deceive myself. In fact I want a beloved person to be near me, with whom I
could spend evenings, to meet morning, to talk about yesterday and to dream
about tomorrow day. I want to walk and to feel a strong man arm holds me. I
don't want to cook meals only for myself. I want somebody to appreciate it. But
I think enough about it.
Thank you for your picture. It is a fine picture. You are a strong and
handsome man. I very much like this picture. It is wonderful, when a man
combines force and charm. It happens so seldom. Forgive me for my frank
words. But I always speak what I think. I think there is nothing bad in it.
You have pleasant appearance and it is wonderful.
You very attentive and kind a man. Thanks for your anxiety on
Svetlana. You have very kind heart. I will necessarily tell Svetlana that
you worry about her health. Thanks. Of course I will say your
congratulations to her. I am sure, she will be happy to find out that you
rendered her such sign of attention.
Hi Pawel, again. I began writing the letter in the morning. Now
already 5.00. Can you imagine? Today was heavy working day. My working day
comes to an end soon. But, one employee has brought here her small son, and she
has asked me to look after him because she should leave urgently for some
hours. The boy knows me very well. He already some times remained with me and
spent time. As our clinic works till 22.00, we can be here up to the end of
work day. His mom works in our clinic only a few months and she has no friends
or relatives here. That's why I already some times helped her. Her son is
amusing boy. I asked him: What do you dream about? He answered that he dreams
to become a grownup because grownups don't have problems with teeth. It was so
funny. I often recollect childhood. I always dreamed to become a grown up as
soon as possible. As every child I completely believed that grownups don't have
problems at all. I dreamt in the childhood and I dream now. Of course, the
world of dreams is an illusive world. We live in a real life, so we should not
sink into the world of dreams and phantasies for a long time. When a dream
becomes obsession, it can bring only pain and disappointment. Our dreams come
true not always. It happens that you use all energy, all aspiration to make
dream come true. But irrespective of how strenuously you try, not everything in
this life depend on us. When the dream for a long time does not come true,
dream ceases to be the star, that was for you a lighthouse in the ocean of the
life. But anyway, I think that it is impossible to live without dreams and
hopes. When there is a dream, the life is filled with sense. Our dreams force
us to think, analyze, choose and come to a conclusion. The Faith and Hope are
eternal satellites of our lifes. And regardless of what waits you at the end,
we remember joy of the victories better, than disappointment and pain of the
defeats. Don't you agree? I'm surprised that I write all this to you. I have
never had a man, with whom I felt conveniently in sharing my thoughts. But now
I have found you, and I am very glad. Forgive me for my frankness. If I said
something superfluous forgive me please. Can I ask some small questions? Do you
like to sleep, or get up early in the morning? Do you like to kiss? (smile) Are
you a good kisser? (smile) Do you like when your friends come to your home or
you prefer to go to friends. I adore when Svetlana or Nadezhda come to my
home. What
clothes do you like to see in a lady? I will wait for your letter with
Wednesday, 21 February 2018 10:44
Hi, Pawel. I am very glad that you have written me. Thank you very much. You
cannot imagine how much I wait for messages from you! Your letters became a
part of my days! Now in my thoughts always only one question - "When I
will get
an opportunity to read your letter and to write my?"... And when I hear a
favorite phrase: " Elena, you can jump, you has received the
letter!" (A lady who
works with a computer says exactly this phrase) I really become joyful very
much and start to smile involuntarily. Therefore thank you!!! Today is a good
day and to clinic I have come already with good mood. Today at night there was
a little rain. In the morning I have come out to the street to jog and I have
seen that all footpaths and roads completely are filled with water. But I like
such a weather. I like any weather. Many people do not notice beauty that
surrounded them. In my soul such a weather wakens the big energy and fine mood.
I like all seasons. I like autumn. Yellow leaves, gold trees. It is so
wonderful to walk in the park and to listen to how leaves rustle under feet; to
see the clouds that float in the sky, to see birds departing to the warm lands.
And at night the sky begins to cry. The rain knocks on windows and roofs. A
lightning illuminates for shares of second the empty streets. It is wonderful.
How it would be wonderful in such a weather to appear with beloved in a small
room with a warm fireplace; weak light and singing of a cricket. How you think
Pawel? What can be finer than romantic evening in rainy day? I at all do not
know what season I like more. Russian winter is delightful. The all world
around is white. And falls of snow bewitches, especially in the evening. When
you see flows of light from a window, and on a background of black sky small
snowflakes are similar to stars. And if for a long time you look at the sky,
then it seems that you are flying through these wonderful snowflakes towards
something unknown. I like spring. The world as though is born again. Air is
filled with freshness. All troubles and failures thaws together with snow. The
sounds of the baby birds chirping for the first time. Summer is a fine mood,
the desire to learn the world, to have a rest and enjoy life. I feel that I
rambling on.
Oh yes! I like to kiss! (I want to intrigue you! I could?) I think that a kiss
it in general the most romantic and sensual way of expression of the love,
tenderness and desire. People allow to each other to learn a internal world
and taste of each other; people exchange breath. It is very sensual moment
and of course it brings pleasure to any person. Kiss it's display of feelings.
By means of a kiss is possible to tell very much. It is very important part of
relationship. Any displays of feelings, kiss or embrace are very important.
It is the basic factor of relationship. I think the more, the better. I like
to be
kissed in a neck! It is my magic place! Also shoulders, hands, a stomach
and of course lips!!!!!
I like any clothes on a man. I like a suit, jeans, sweater, a white
shirt with a tie or without. But when the man wear a shirt without a tie,
I like when the top button, or two have been unbuttoned. But I hate when a
man wear dirty shoes.
glasses do not matter, the main thing that suits you (Smile)
By the way, I jog for many years. I really have good health because I
always try to support my figure and I jog every morning. I try to spend time in
the air as much as possible. I have no car and I use transport extremely
seldom. I get contrast shower - alternation of a stream of cold and hot water.
I since the childhood lived in conditions of cold winter and damp autumn. Such
climate is toughening health very well. I do not smoke. I really love a healthy
way of life. And I am proud of it. I love sports very much. Though should admit
that I never played golf, football and basketball, never boxed. But I could
you, if I had opportunity to compete with you in beach volleyball. By the way,
when I studied at university, I visited section of swimming and have reached
good results. Some times I participated in swim competitions. Swimming - till
now my favorite kind of sports.
Pawel, I send my pictures. I hope you will like it. I for a long time
thought and have decided to send a picture - only for you... So, this picture
really only for you! I hope you understand... I have to finish. With the best
regards and with thoughts of you.
Thursday, 22 February 2018 10:21
Hi my dear friend, Pawel!!!! I am very glad that you have written. Many thanks.
You have again raised my mood and have placed a happy smile into my face.
Thank you for new picture. I already spoke, that you are a handsome man.
Your new picture confirms my words. You really very charming and attractive
a man and to look at you is very pleasantly.
You have written a wonderful poem in your letter. It was very beautiful,
wonderful words. May be it even a song and I can only imagine how these
words would be fine in a combination with music. Thank you!
By the way Pawel, today I went to job being absolutely confident
that your letter waits for me. Earlier I always went with thought that you
probably yet have not written, but today for the first time I went with thought
that your letter already waits for me. I went along the street with the smile
on my face. I could not hide my smile. People that went past of me looked back
and looked at me. Here already many employees know that I have found such a
wonderful friend, and nobody is surprised that my friend lives in other
country. Everybody only are glad. Nobody here is surprised if the woman
searches for not Russian man. I think the cultural distinction is a wonderful
thing. I don't understand Russian men and their culture of dialogue with woman.
They are not able to appreciate woman's feelings, her fidelity, love. They do
not appreciate sincerity and aspiration of woman to do for a man absolutely
everything. The only thing she need - the warmth and caress, which she wants to
get from a man. It is the problem of Russian men. Russian lady does everything
for a man but doesn't get anything from him. All what she needs is at least a
couple of tender words and gentle touching of his arms. Really it is so
difficult? Really it is difficult to present for your lady a romantic evening
and a supper with candles? In Russia as a rule such gift give lady to man, but
not man to lady. You say that I am beautiful. In Russia I am not considered
like a beautiful lady. I am usual and simple woman with usual appearance.
Russian men, practically all of them, usually show disrespect to ladies. They
consider that woman only have to work, to cook, to wash cloths and entertain a
man when he wants. For Russian man to offend a woman is a usual thing. I like
to cook and to wash cloths but sometimes I would like to receive simple caress,
love and attention. I don't want to offend all men. Of course there are good
men in Russia, but there are few of them. Men very often say dirty words (not
normative lexicon) when they talk with lady and consider that there is nothing
bad in it. I want to tell you about my ex-boyfriend. I feel that you will
understand me. I had boyfriend. We had good time together. He was kind. But he
liked to drink. When he got drunk he became an absolutely other person. He
talked with me by bad and dirty words. The time passed and his love to alcohol
became a habit. He became another person - rude and evil, even when did not
drink. He has found the big interest in beating of me. He began to beat me very
often and cruelly. He often knocked me in my face by fist and even kicked me by
foot when I already was on a floor. And every time when I being on a floor
looked in to his eyes, and with tears in my eyes asked him - WHY? - he just
responded that any man is a King and a place of any woman - under foot of a
true man. But the next day he smiled and talked with me as if nothing had
happened. In public he was very delicate, polite. All people considered that he
is a true gentleman. But when he found oneself at home, everything was on the
contrary. I very much was afraid of him and I have left him. My soul was
wounded very much. After this I couldn't make myself get acquainted with
another man. I don't trust Russian men. I am afraid to give my love, but back
to get roughness instead of love. I have told to you about it because I want
you to know that I open to you my soul. And I want you to know about my
ex-relationship with my ex-boyfriend. I feel that I can tell to you about this
because I feel that you have very kind heart. By the way, today Svetlana leaves
hospital! And though she will spend some more days at home, all the same it is
much better than in hospital. If you have disagreements with lady, can you
apply roughness? Are you able to transform quarrel into the peace, pleasure and
a smile? I hope my letter have not offended you in any way. I have to finish.
With all my kindness and tenderness.
Friday, 23 February 2018 09:37
Hi, Pawel! How is your mood? I hope that up to my letter your mood was fine,
but after my letter your mood became superfine (smile) Likely I am too
self-confident. But I am happy if I receive your letter.
I so waited for this minute,- when I can write to you. Our friendship became
the important part of my life, and I hope that in your life as well. Sometimes
I understand that the thread that connects me with you now is not most strong.
But I do not want this thread to be torn. Right now I sit and I smile simply
because I am glad that again I can to share with you my thoughts. Sometimes I
so want you to see my smile during the similar moment because I think it is the
most sincere smile! But sometimes my smile leaves me because I know that now
the only thing that connects us is our thoughts, that we send to each other,-
thoughts, transformed into a letters that are not able to show all depth of
thoughts. But at the same time I understand that nobody knows what waits for us
in the future. I hope my words do not offend you and maybe you even think
just as I...
Thanks for all your words. I am very glad that you have expressed to
me your opinion. It is pleasant for me to realize that I have a friend - a
true man. I really do not understand how people can be very angry if they
love each other. I do not remember when at last time I became angry. I do
not like to be angry and I do not like to quarrel. I know absolutely
precisely that any disagreements can be solved with a smile on the face. I
try never to raise a voice. To force me to cry easier than to make me mad.
I like to conciliate people and when my friends in the quarrel, I always
act as conciliator. When I am upset, it can be understood on my eyes.
Svetlana says that when I am upset, I have such sad eyes that after
looking at me she wants to cry. Probably it is the truth because when I am
upset, everyone notices it. I become silent and imperceptible. I as always
talk with people, I smile, but all the same everyone see that something
wrong with me. To carry quarrel into the bed or to leave problem on
tomorrow 's day is wrong. I never would do that. I never can be in a
disagreement more than several minutes. I feel very much not comfortably
if I am in a disagreement. Therefore I always try to reconcile at once.
If people love each other and respect feelings and interests of each other,
I am sure that serious disagreements cannot be the case. I always take
into account an opinion of other people; therefore I very seldom have
disagreements with somebody. I respect any mind. And I am sure that
any quarrel can be discussed simply in quiet conversation. It is enough
to express your opinion and attentively and respectfully to listen to opinion
of your beloved. And the decision will come. And what can be more pleasant
than a soft kiss after a short disagreement? Really?
Tomorrow difficult day waits for me. Probably tomorrow I will work
outside of clinic. We call it - "the ride working day". Svetlana
also goes with
us. She already is completely healthy and begins work. It is difficult day. At
this day several doctors and specialists of our clinic are going on the special
medical bus to various remote small settlements, small villages in a thicket of
the forest. These are poor villages which are located far away from the big
cities and settlements. In these villages there are no doctors and clinics and
people cannot visit clinic at any moment. In such villages there is always a
lot of people who need the doctor but cannot reach clinic by self. Often it is
a people who are not able to live without help of other people, - basically are
small children or old and weak feeble people. We go in these villages on the
bus with all necessary equipment. People in these villages love us and wait
more than anything. But it is really the hard work if to take into account that
we are going there at 6 am, and we come back sometimes even after 10 pm! But I
will wait your letter because our friendship gives force to me, and our
dialogue is a rest for my soul! My dear friend Pawel! I have to go!
Sincerely and with thoughts about you.
Tuesday, 27 February 2018 09:06
Hi my dear Pawel! Today is a fine day. Already in the morning I knew that I
today I will get an opportunity to write to you. And all the rest become
unimportant for me. Today I really haven't opportunity to write much. Please
forgive me. But I have enough time to tell to you that I thought of you and
waited when I will get opportunity to write you.
I apologize if I do not answer right away and do not answer your questions,
we have a lot of work, you have to understand me, but I will answer with
pleasure the next time,
just ask me to remind me again, kisses (Smile)
And I have time to tell the main thing. I do not know why, but today I
have woken up earlier than usually. I could not fall asleep again. I simply sat
near window and looked at the sky. Suddenly, a small birdie appeared on my
window. It was very beautiful birdie. This birdie looked at me, and started to
twitter. It was so unusually and beautifully. It was a beautiful song. I looked
at this small birdie and thought, that you Pawel now somewhere far away;
maybe you sleep and see me in your sleep-dream. And I so wanted you to see this
small birdie and to hear her delightful song. And I have whispered: "Fly
my little birdie, fly to my friend Pawel, and tell to him that one girl,
that is so far away, thinks of him and sends to him this song. And at this
moment the birdie has flinched and flew away as if this birdie has heard my
words! And I have thought, if today you Pawel will see a small birdie
singing beautiful song, - be sure that it is my birdie I sent to you! Forgive
me, but I have to go. I want to send you my kiss if you do not mind.
Your Elena.

P.S. I have a surprise for you. I hope you enjoy one of my photos?
I have made this photo specially for you.
Saturday, 3 March 2018 09:58
Hi, my far, but dear friend Pawel. Thank you so much that you write to me.
I am really glad that I have found you. I want to tell you today so much.
The ride working day was difficult day. We have passed many villages,
I have come back home already in 10.30 PM. I so is tired, that I at once
have lain in bed but before I have fallen asleep, I thought about you.
I ask to forgive me for a long absence, the reason for this problem with the
The distributor that received and sent mail broke,
so we had some difficulties when you thought that I did not answer, and I
thought that you did not write.
Now everything has been repaired and I am very glad that you wrote to me.
Today I wanted to say just the right things to you. I didn't want to
offend or upset you in anyway, and it really bothered me that saying something
wrong may do that. I always speak directly from my heart but sometimes, words
must be chosen carefully. I feel somewhat lost when I have no opportunity to
use a computer to read your letter. In my soul, I feel contentment and joy when
I think of you. I have never done this in my life, (tried to initiate a
relationship halfway across the world), but I am more than willing to learn
whatever is need to succeed, if it is your desire as well. I also believe that
couples should be the best friends, which trust and share with each other
everything that they feel. I don't know if my word and thoughts make sense to
you; and for me so hard to put them in typed words that you will feel and
understand. I believe in God, and I believe that I have been put through trials
to be ready for meeting a man with whom I will spend the rest of my life in
loving, to better value him, respect him and cherish the love that he would
give me; only asking that I return the same. I hope that my words and letters
are not boring to you, but they are much more than mere words, they are my
thoughts and feelings, and I send them out to you. I wish to know you on the
more intimate level, I would like you to share your true dreams, your hopes,
your feelings of the heart with me, I truly wish to connect with you on a level
that goes way beyond simply friendship. Please don't think that I am fool for
thinking these things, I believe that to succeed in anything, you have to be
honest, and that is what I am doing with you. Could you seriously close your
eyes for just a minute, and think and dream of what a life we could share, what
it would be like,- the fun of learning each other. I really believe that dreams
really come true for the people that dare to believe in dreams, because if they
believe in them enough hard, dreams could become in reality. Here, where I was
raised, the gift of true love from a man is something that is more similar to a
Mirage or self-deception, rather than mutual feeling which two enamored people
can give each other. I hope that I am not rambling on with my words. I have so
much that I wish to share with you, and each time I write to you, I feel there
is never enough time to say everything that I want to say, and I always feel
that I have forgotten something important that I wanted to share with you.
Pawel, I want to tell that you are very beautiful for me. I mean the beauty
that is within you, beauty of your internal world. It is a type of beauty that
is very special and rare. Most men have only appearances, but not have beauty
inside, and this is where true beauty is. This is what for me is the most
important and significant in all limits of my character, my soul and my
consciousness. I think that you are truly handsome, in the sence of what beauty
should be. I want to reduce essence of my entire letter only to one thought. I
don't know if I could clearly explain all my thoughts and feelings, which
overflow me now, or not. I want to tell that I feel, we become very good
friends and I really enjoy our friendship. I aspire to learn you more and I
dare to hope that you suppose a thought that our relations can develop more
than it enough for simple friendship. It's the way I feel. I'll look forward to
your reply as always with anticipation and impatience.... I hope that your
reply will not have of a harsh nature, and I look forward of its arrival. With
tenderness, Your Elena.
Tuesday, 6 March 2018 11:07
Hi Pawel! Your letter means so much for me. Thank you. I so wait for your
letters and so demanded to learn that you will tell to me.
Pawel, today I write to you with special worry but as well with
pleasure and hope. I really hope that everything that I will tell you today
will make you happy. Last time when I wrote you my honest letter I had the big
sadness in my heart, and even though I tried to not show it, I think you have
noticed it. Pawel, I was sad because the boss informed me that approximately
in three weeks the accounting department will be closed for full re-equipment
and repair. And when he have told me it, I thought my heart will stop, because
when it will take place, I will not be able to communicate with you during
several months! And it has brought infinite sadness into my heart. But after my
boss informed me about close of accounting department, the accounting
department informed me that approximately in three weeks I will get my
vacation! When I thought that I can lose you for some months, inside my soul I
at once have felt that I can't simply accept it. And I have felt that together
with sadness in my heart has appeared an other feeling - feeling of confidence,
desire to make new steps instead of simply waiting for something. I have
understood that our relations are important for me much more than I thought.
And it so wonderfully. I had no vacation for two years. And now I will have
vacation. But a thoughts that I will not be able to communicate with you, to
receive your letters and to write mine,- all these thoughts has brought a pain
to me, pain that I can't endure. I talked with Svetlana and she has asked me
I think to do. And when she has asked me it, I have understood that inside my
soul I already know the answer to this question. And I have told that I do not
want to spend such a long-awaited vacation in loneliness. I can't accept a
thought that I will not talk to you Pawel during of month or two. And I have
told that I want to meet you Pawel! I have told her that I want to spend my
vacation with you Pawel! I can come to you, and we can spend time together
if you want. And first I was afraid that if I will tell you about it in the
letter, you will write me that you do not want to see me or can not meet me.
And it would hurt my heart. But Svetlana have told, that you Pawel and I are
such a good friends, our relations are built on sincerity, therefore Pawel
will be happy to spend time with me. And I really think that it would be
delightfully. So, what you will say, Pawel, if I will offer you a meeting?
Would you be happy to see me and to spend with me several days? I cannot
imagine at all how it would be wonderful. You would show me your life, we would
learn each other in a real life. We would look into the eyes of each other, we
could hold our hands, tell each other silly stories, laugh and tease each
other, watch the stars in the night sky and have romantic evening, go to the
movie or we could simply sit on a bench in the park, and who knows what else we
could do together... I would be happy to do all this together with you, instead
of again be lonely without you and our friendship. I simply want to meet you. I
already knew and I have been told earlier, but I have found out again all I
need to do to come to your country. I already have the passport. And I will
avoid usual procedure of visa's approval. Being the doctor, I can ask the visa
on behalf of our Ministry of Health, because if the applicant have good
official support from official bodies, if the applicant have official
recommendations and directions to various sorts of conference, seminars, - it
will relieve of necessity to wait for some months the decision of the
commission, and will remove all problems connected with necessity to prove that
the purpose of travel is not emigration. Being the doctor I will have support
and guarantees from Ministry of Health of Russian Federation, and it is
certainly the best guarantor. Of course I must visit improbable quantity of the
departments, to collect improbable quantity of documents, to find as many as
possibly of other official legal persons, institutions and people for support;
to get petitions. But if I will quickly collect all necessary documents, I will
get the visa in one or two weeks! So I have filed an application for the visa,
Pawel, with happiness and with hope that you will be happy to spend some
days with me! I do not ask you about anything. I will use my monetary savings
and I will make everything by self. It is my vacation and I will not be a
burden. Would you be happy to spend some days with me soon, Pawel? Anyway,
we must meet. It is possible to wait eternally. But I believe that I will get
my vacation not accidentally; and I believe that the accounting department will
be closed at the same time not accidentally as well. It is not coincidence! It
is time to make a choice, to make the decision, to take new step. Maybe such
opportunity will not be repeated again. I so long waited my vacation and I want
my vacation to be especial. What can be better than a meeting of two friends?
The first meeting. It is simply delightful and I thank destiny that I have got
such an opportunity,- an opportunity to meet my dear friend, the opportunity to
learn each other in real life, the opportunity to enjoy time which we can spend
together. And I believe that it can become the beginning of something new in
our lifes and in our relations. And I am really happy to get a vacation because
it is time which I can spend in any way I want, and I want to spend this
vacation with you Pawel! So what will you tell? Would you like to spend time
with me? Would you be glad to meet me? Would you be happy to have the first
meeting at your airport? I will wait for your answer with pleasure. Your
sincere Elena.
Wednesday, 7 March 2018 07:02
Hi my Pawel! I waited for your letter with fear and with pleasure at the
same time! And I am very happy to receive your letter! I am ready to jump and
dance, laugh and sing songs! And the reason - you Pawel! Thank you for your
letter and your thoughts.
Every day I think - what my friend Pawel will tell me today, what
mood he will have today? And as soon as I get free minute, I rush to accounting
department to find out if you have written to me or not. And when I receive
your letter, I start to smile from ear to ear anticipating the best time of my
day - time when I read your letter and when I write to you the all my thoughts.
These are the most important minutes of my day. And these minutes I don't hear
anything and I don't see anything except of lines and paragraphs which in my
mind will be transformed into small movie, movie about you, my dear Pawel.
And you cannot imagine at all how it wonderfully! Sometimes I think, what would
be if I have not found the boldness in myself to write you? What would be if I
didn't believe that I can find a man in such a way? I always want to think that
I the courageous woman, but I feel that actually it is not so. I am ready to
give my life for the sake of person who are close and dear for me, I am ready
to donate my well-being for the sake of well-being of other person but when I
think of myself, I often become timid and all my boldness disperses like the
fire's smoke. I am often afraid to make something, to take some step simply
because of fear that it will be an incorrect step. I am often afraid to ask
people about anything simply because of fear to get the negative answer. Not
always, but it happens. What would happen, if you have not answered my first
letter? Nothing would happen! And grey monotonous days again would lie on a way
of my life by infinite impenetrable veil. Do you want to know what I did today?
First off, I should tell that I slept with a smile on my face! At least when I
have woken up and have looked at the mirror, I have noticed that I smile! Then,
I cleaned a teeth and I had smile! Then, I jog and I smiled as if actually I
watched funny movie. Then, I have cooked a breakfast and drank a coffee with a
smile on my face! Then, I have come to clinic, and I could not hide my smile. I
was ready to laugh and I at all had no desire to work! It is a very bad symptom
for the doctor! (Smile). Everything around have seemed to me a beautiful and
wonderful. And even the severe boss, when have seen that I look at him and I
smile, he began to survey himself attentively and even have come near to the
mirror to see if anything wrong! He has thought that something wrong with his
clothes! All the day I work with smile on my face! Svetlana looks at me and
as well. Of course she understands the reason, and it makes her happy as well!
And when time of sleep will come, I will lie in my bed with the same smile on
my face! And if you till now have not understood why I smile, I will tell you!
I smile because I think of you, Pawel! And it brings joy! I am so happy that
I have in my life such a man as you! Thank you that you are in my life! I have
to go. Now I will not have a lot of time after work because after work I will
have one more working day! (Smile). You may ask what I mean? The preparation
for my trip! You cannot imagine at all how many deals I must do for our
meeting! I even have asked the boss to reduce my working day or to allow me to
take some hours off in the middle of day to make some things, because after 5
pm not all departments works! Of course now I should work in the days off to
have more of free time at week-days. But thoughts about our meeting give me
force and energy! I am sure that everything will be perfectly! I will wait your
letter! Please, write me because I need your letters and support more than
ever! Your Elena!
Thursday, 8 March 2018 07:15
Hi My Pawel! Thank you for your letters. You became the most dazzling moment
of my day! How I wish you saw how Svetlana is happy that we will meet! She is
that our meeting will make us happy. It is simply impossible to talk to her
now! (Smile). She has now only one theme for conversation - you Pawel! She
constantly asks about you, asks - what I will do together with you, she asks -
what I will do at the airport, she asks - what I will cook for you. She asks
how I am going to impress you, to intrigue! She even asks how I will tempt you!
(Smile). She say that I do everything correctly and I should not be afraid of
anything at all. To conquer the road can only one who goes on this road.
is very glad that I have found you, and she sends you her friendly greetings
and a wishes of happy expectation of me! (Smile).
Pawel, please, don't be angry with me if I cannot write you much
now. I hope you understand that I even after my working day in clinic must do
too much for our meeting. Today I will go to Ministry of Health. I think this
is one of the most important deals for me right now. Today I will give them the
all my medical documents and tomorrow I will probably get all documents and
forms of petitions which I must fill out as soon as possible. Then I will go to
Army Garrison where were working my parents. They must collect for me all the
information about my parents, about history of the death of my father and
mother. I must have data about work of my parents not only in this Army
Garrison, but also in all others Garrisons where my parents worked during all
life. To make it extremely difficultly, if to take into account that my parents
worked in Army Garrisons in various points of our huge country. But I am sure
that I will get the information because here many officers who remember my
father, and I hope they will be glad to help me. Pawel, today I feel that I
start to worry more than I even could imagine. I am very glad that I do all
this. And I think of our meeting every minute. The meeting at the airport... I
don't think that many people on our planet have an opportunity to enjoy such a
delightful moment - the moment of the first meeting at the airport. It is so
beautiful. I feel that it will be very touching moment for each of us. I never
travelled so far away. And I worry very much. But I imagine us together and it
calms me down. I see us together, I see us walking in the park; I see us
speaking about serious and about silly things, or playing cards or a checkers
(and the one who lose will execute any desire of the winner (smile)), I see
wonderful dinners at home and outside! I see you sitting on a sofa with a juicy
peach in your hand and I see me dancing in front of you beautiful dance, or
maybe even erotic dance (smile), how about Belly dance? (Smile). I do it
stunningly!(Smile). I see us swimming; I see us on a roof of a house, watching
the full moon; I see us fighting by pillows; I see us in the evening at home,
with romantic light of candles; I see us cooking together Russian pelmenies and
American pizza (smile); I see me in your embraces. All this waits for us in the
near future; and I enjoy, anticipating this delightful time together! Do you
feel the same, Pawel? Pawel, would you like to give me massage of my
back? I would like to give you massage! But I must warn you, that if you want
to give me massage, you should not touch my ribs!(Smile) The reason - I the
most ticklish woman in Russia(smile). Pawel, I madly am afraid of
titillation! If someone tickles my foot or ribs, I begin to laugh loudly, to
kick and to scratch, to squeal and to jump! Therefore if you will give me
massage and you will tickle me, you will feel like a cowboy on a wild
undomesticated mare on the rodeo! (Smile). By the way, Pawel, are you
ticklish? Do you snore? (Forgive me for this question. Do not answer, if you do
not want. Maybe one day I will find out all this all the same! (Smile). Will
you sing serenades for me? I would be happy if you would sing serenades and
songs for me! I would remunerate you by kisses! (Smile). Pawel, I should
finish the letter. I must do much so that you had an opportunity to give me
massage and to get the massage from me! (Smile). Please, write me because now I
need you and your letters very very strongly, because I worry so much...
Your Elena.
Friday, 9 March 2018 06:40
Hi my dear Pawel! Every morning I wake up with a pleasant thought of our
And each new day reduces distance between us! Every new day makes us closer to
other. I so hope that we will meet. Pawel, I the doctor, but I cannot think of
except of our meeting!(Smile). Even my patients have noticed it!
Thank you for a beautiful poem. You know how to touch woman's heart. Your
words force my heart to tremble. Thank you for your tenderness and kindness.
Pawel, Svetlana say that last time she saw me such a happy many years
back - when I was the student girl! She asserts that you have changed me
absolutely! I began often to get my hairbrush and to correct my hairstyle!
(Smile). I began often to sing songs aloud! (Smile). I began often to immerse
into the world of fantasies so, that sometimes I at all don't hear someone
talks to me or asks me about something! (Smile). It is so amusingly, pleasantly
and unusually! She is very grateful to you and very glad that we will meet! She
helps me by all possible ways. Pawel, do you remember in my very first small
letter I have told that I want to find a man who will compel my soul to
blossom? I want to tell you, that my soul blossoms! You have brought a spring
into my soul and now I feel like a flower blossoming under long-awaited beams
of the warm sun! Thank you Pawel! Pawel, you cannot imagine what tense
time I have now. I actually haven't even one free minute. I already was in
Ministry of Health and I got all petitions! It is great! In the Ministry I have
been told that I must visit all patients which I visit on a "Trip
Day"- they
must fill up forms of petitions for me. Of course they will be happy to do it.
These people love me and all doctors who visits them! It will be a big support
for me. The Ministry will make the report about my work in the difficult places
where not each person is ready to work. I also will get the report and the
characteristic from my clinic. Tomorrow I and Svetlana will have our own
Day"! We will go together to those settlements. Probably we will go there
only tomorrow but also the day after tomorrow because the one day is not enough
to visit all people who knows me. After that I must legalize all documents at
the notary. Svetlana will help me to get the full report about my biography in
Municipal Department. If Svetlana will be able to agree with them, they will get
for me the information about me and my family from all Municipal Departments of
those regions where I and my parents lived during all life. By self we would
never get all this information. I get tired very much not only spiritually, but
physically as well. And when I come home, I simply fall onto a bed, and I
simply lie on a bed some time looking at a ceiling. But if we will do
everything quickly, I will have interview with the commission. After this
interview the commission will inform me if my visa is approved or not. Tomorrow
I will have also consultation - preparation for interview. It is very important
point for me as well! Maybe I worry too much, but I cannot calm myself! Forgive
me that I write to you about my cares. But I really worry. I knew that I must
do much for our meeting, but I at all could not assume that I will worry.
says that if she would be on my place, she would become confused and simply
would not know what to do. She says that she envies my endurance and the power
of will. I never told her,- but actually I often feel fear, I often feel like
weak woman. I really need moral support. I since the childhood make all
decisions by self, and my parents taught me never to show weakness or
confusion. And I always tried to do without anybody's help or advice, even
though in my heart I often feel like very weak woman. Pawel, are you the
leader in relationship with woman? Do you like to make the decision by self?

P.S. Pawel, please tell to me the name of a city and the airport name where
I should fly!!! Probably you know an code (IATA Code) of the International
Airport. So it will be easier me to find the information. I must be sure, that
I have the correct information.
Your Elena.
Thursday, 15 March 2018 06:17
Hi Pawel! How I am glad that I have an opportunity to write you. I has come
here only to write you some lines. I haven't even one free minute. Now the
each minute
of my day is devoted to you Pawel! Every minute of my day I use to make our
meeting come true. Every minute of my day I think of you and about our
meeting. I give
off all my diligence and forces to meet you.
At once I want to tell that I have collected almost all characteristics
and petitions from people. Now I will have a meeting with the notary at notary
office to legalize all documents. Svetlana was able to agree with Municipal
Department. Now she must get all documents about my family and me. Of course
contrary to my expectations not all people are unselfish, but the main thing is
that we will get these documents. The rest is not the most important. I already
had consultation - preparation for interview. I so worry. I so want to put my
head onto your knees and to feel your warm hand on my face. For the sake of it
I am ready to give off all my forces! And Svetlana gives all her forces for our
meeting. Last night Svetlana has come to my home and she have suggested to
bake a
cake,- simply to relax after difficult day. We have together invented the new
recipe and have started to make a cake. I wish you saw this cake! There is not
on the Earth any cake with such a quantity of components! (Smile). Between of
layers of a soft gentle biscuit we placed mush of kiwi and bananas. The sour
cream with a strawberry and juice of fresh lemon have turned into a magnificent
cake-cream. We have decorated a cake with a cherry, and when we already wanted
to try our cake, we have suddenly understood that we forgot to give a name for
our pie. I do not know if in your country there is such a tradition, but in
each cake have the name, like - "Butterfly", or "Napoleon"
or "Ruins Of Graph's
Castle". So we began to look attentively at our cake, and to think,- what
this cake must have. Svetlana began to offer various names -
"Cinderella" or
"Autumn Charm". But I said that all this is banal and too ordinary.
There is
millions cakes with similar names. Then she has offered the name - "Dancing
Elephant" or "Fallen Gymnast "! I have asked her - why
"Fallen Gymnast"? And
she has answered that it is unusually, and in any country of the world I never
would find a pie with the similar name ! (Smile). But I said that it is too
foolishly! Svetlana offered tens of names, but to each her offer I answered that
it is too foolishly, or too banal, or too ordinary, or it is not interesting.
Finally Svetlana has told: "All right Elena, if you are so clever, maybe
you will
offer anything not banal, unusual, not foolish and interesting?" And then I
have told: "Look at this cake! This cake is appetizing just as Pawel!!!! I
want to name this cake - Pawel!" (Smile). I wish you saw Svetlana during
moment! She has fallen onto a floor and began to laugh loudly! I could not stop
her at all! She has told: " Elena, you are absolutely crazy Russian
woman, but I
love the name Pawel!!!! "(Smile). We together laughed loudly all the
evening, we drank tea and ate a delightful cake with the name Pawel!!!
(Smile). I hope you are not offended that I have named a cake by your name? It
is a beautiful, sweet, gentle, and very tasty cake!!! Pawel, I have to go. I
hope you dream and think of me as often as I think of you! (Smile). Please,
write me the letter! I beg you, do not forget about me now! (Smile) Please,
tell me that you wait for me with impatience (smile). Please, tell me that you
are dreaming to embrace me at the airport! (Smile) Pawel, if some lady would
want to be with you while your beloved woman don't see you, what would you tell
that lady? Forgive me, I have to go. But only because I want to meet you as
soon as possible!!!!(smile).
Your Elena!
Friday, 16 March 2018 08:21
Hi my Pawel! How I am happy that again I write my letter to my Pawel! If
somebody ever would tell me, that I will wait for the letter from a man more
than anything else in my life, I would not believe at all. But it is so. I miss
you every minute. When I go for work, when I work, I think of you and I know
that at this time you probably sleep. It is so amazingly. Every day you see the
sun which I already saw, you meet the moon which already was in my bedroom. I
take a step into the new day every time earlier than you; Every time I ask the
sun to send to you the warm and gentle beams, and when I say goodbye to the
Sun, and I go to sleep,- you wake up and see these beams of the sun. And I hope
every night you see the most sweet dreams because at this time your woman with
name Elena thinks of you! I so need your kind and tender words. I so want to
hear that you think of me and wait for me.
I was afraid that today I cannot write to you. I was in clinic only a
few minutes today. And these minutes the computer was inaccessible. But now I
have some minutes, before I go. Right now I will have a full medical
inspection. I will give all analyses of my blood and other, I will be surveyed
by all doctors. I must have good results to get the approval of Ministry of
Health. If everything will be fine, I will have medical approval to leave my
country. But it does not disturb me absolutely, because I know that I am
absolutely healthy. We have here similar inspections every month. Every month
the doctor has such inspection because if the doctor has any disease, the
doctor has no right to work. I don't worry about this inspection. Besides it I
must have time to do too much. I work almost till the night. And to catch an
opportunity to write to you is very difficultly. I think, if we will meet,
Pawel, I will fall asleep in your hands right at the airport. I think I will
have interview soon, and I worry every day more and more. I so hope that we
will meet. I hope very much that all my diligence will not be in vain and in
the award I will get your embrace. Please, tell me that it will be. Tell me
that you feel it just as I feel. I have to finish my letter. It is time to go.
Please, think of me because I feel it and it makes me happy! I send you my hot
kisses! (Smile). Simply I want you to smile! I hope to receive your letter
Pawel! Please, tell to me that you are waiting for me! Your Elena!
Monday, 19 March 2018 06:54
Hi my Pawel! Thank you for your letters. I am so happy. Thoughts about you
calm my heart. You don't know how all your words are important for me. I know
what emotion you write me with, and your emotions caress my heart. And I know
hundreds of words, that could help me to tell you how you are important, dear
and wonderful for me. And I so wait for that a moment when I will be able to
tell you these all words, at the same time looking into your eyes. I so wait
for that a moment when I will see your smile and I will read in your smile all
your thoughts. And now my heart enjoys fine feeling - feelings of waiting and
hope that soon our meeting will come true. And sometimes it is simply
impossible by means of only words to express all shades of joy. Any words
cannot replace a glance and a smile, any words are not able to replace
tenderness of touch.
As for a place where I should stay, if you suggest me to stay in your
house, of course I with pleasure accept your offer. I would not like
to live in hotel. We in Russia never suggest to a guest to stay in hotel,
Russian tradition - to offer a place in the house even if a place is not
big. Therefore I am happy that you suggest me to stay in your house.
I would not feel comfortably in hotel. I am glad that you such hospitable!
Thanks! But if my stay in your house can cause any inconveniences about
which you are afraid to tell because you are very kind and polite, I ask
you to not be afraid and tell me about it. I do not want to cause any
inconveniences and if my stay is inappropriate for you even a little,
tell me and I of course will stop in hotel. I respect your home and I don't
want to bring into your house any discomfort by means of my stay there.
But, also I want to repeat, that I would be happy to know that you wish me
to stay in your house. It would give comfort to my soul and heart!
I will tell you something good! If you would see how I worry. But I
waited for this news for a long time. And I cannot imagine at all how I will
worry the following some days! Anyhow, today I finally got the invitation! I
will have the interview with the commission! It is the most important point for
me. I prepared to this for a long time. After I will have interview I will find
out the final decision! The commission will inform me their decision, and then
you and I will know if we will meet or not. I don't want to say
"IF", but it is
really a very difficult and tense moment. And I am simply not sure if I will
have confidence and self-control. But I have to calm down myself. My worry -
our enemy. I think I am ready. I feel that I can do and tell everything
correctly, and we will meet! You should be with me in your thoughts. Without
you I so am afraid! I have almost all documents which should impress the
commission. I hope that everything what I have made will help us. Please, tell
me that you believe in it. Be with me in your thoughts. I hope nothing bad will
happen to me anymore. And I am happy that Svetlana and I didn't get any traumas
today. I cannot imagine at all what would be in this case. But I am ok, and it
is most important. I will think of you, so please, think of me as well. With
all my tenderness. Your Elena.
Tuesday, 20 March 2018 12:20
Hi my Pawel! Thank you for your letter! I write to you the letter and I
smile. I am so happy. I think that everything most difficult has remained
behind us! I had the interview! I knew that it will be difficult conversation,
but I could not imagine at all that I must answer to so many questions. And
prior to the beginning of interview I have been so frightened, I so worried.
But as soon as they have asked the first question, I at once became absolutely
calmed down. I have ceased to worry absolutely. I simply sat, and, looking
directly into eyes of the commission simply and straight answered to questions.
I spoke everything what I think, in all sincerity, as always. They asked me
actually about everything! They asked me about my life, about my childhood,
about death of my parents, about terrorism, about my work, about my last
relationship. They have read all documents which I has collected. They asked me
why I work voluntary in such a difficult places. They asked me about my belief
in God. And often I saw on their faces that they expected from me not such the
answers, but I didn't want to speak beautiful things which pleasantly to listen
to. I simply spoke sincerely all what in my heart. They have told that such the
answers are the big rarity for the applicant. Because usually applicants do not
answer so sincerely. Usually, applicants think some time and try to answer so
that the answer was most convenient for the commission. And first I thought
my answers have not satisfied them, but they have told that to listen to my
very pleasantly and unusually. They have told that "bitter"
sincerity always better
than "sweet" flattery. Besides, they really have been impressed with
fact that
I had such a great support from many people living in different regions.
Pawel! Maybe in some hours I will find out the decision!!!!! I can't
believe. I feel that I did all correctly. Today I saw my parents in my
sleep-dream, and they smiled to me. I know that it is their approval. I see my
parents in sleep-dream very seldom! I always knew that dream will never simply
fall into hands from the sky. I always knew that if you want the dream to come
true, you must do for this purpose all what in your forces. I know that it is
necessary to believe, hope and struggle. And I really struggled, I tried to do
all what in my forces. And I hope God will help us. After all difficulties,
after all efforts I believe that everything will be fine! I really feel that I
did everything well. I worry very much, but my heart say to me that I should
smile. And I smile today. I feel that I will meet you. I feel that the meeting
at the airport will be beautiful and romantic. I will tell you everything what
I will feel at that moment, and you will tell me. And then we will leave the
airport and we will chatter and laugh. I will tell you how I endured the flight
in the plane and what I was thinking about. You will tell me how you waited for
me at the airport. And then we will have a wonderful time together. We will
walk, spend evenings, to watch funny and scary movies, - and I will hide under
your hand at the most scary moment... We will meet together the first beams of
the sun and will see off a magnificent sunset. We will sit near a window and to
drink hot tea while in the street will be a strong rain. How I want to have a
breakfast together and a supper with candles. How I want to shout together with
you at the baseball stadium; or simply to lay on a bed, and to tell each other
about a life. How I want all this - simple things which will bring to us so
many joy. If everything will be fine, I will start the most difficult process -
preparation of my suitcase! (Smile). Right now I talked with the boss, and he
has told that probably today I will find out an exact date of beginning of my
vacation! But I have to go! My legs shiver as if I the schoolgirl! (Smile).
Wish me luck and think of me!
Your Elena.
Wednesday, 21 March 2018 07:02
Hi, my Love.
I even do not know what to tell first. I simply hope that you will be happy!
The most important, finest news - I did it! I got the visa! I am very happy!!!!
I as well have found out that I will get vacation April, 2 2018.
I have been to the company that reserves airway tickets. I asked
them how I can reach Wroclaw and how much it costs. They
have offered to me the roundtrip ticket that costs 598 euro. I asked them to find
cheapest ticket, because this price is expensive for me. They have answered
that they have a cheaper roundtrip ticket and the beginning of the flight April, 5 2018.
It costs 464 euro. It was the best variant for me. I asked them to reserve a ticket.
But they refused, because they can't reserve the ticket without advance payment.
I must pay full cost. I have asked if I can pay a part of money now, and the
other part later. They have told that it is possible, but I will be limited by term.
And if I will not pay the full cost of the ticket within of this term, I will lose already
nested money. I have agreed because it is the only chance for me, because
I must give to anti-emigration committee a data about my payment. By this moment
I had only the concrete sum of money which I had after all my expenses.
I paid 150 euro. But it was not enough for them. In a panic, all what Svetlana
and I could do - we pawned our earrings and gold rings and I got 69 euro.
That is all I could do. The number of the flight on which I will get
the ticket is Aeroflot-Russian Airlines 2006
The time of departure from Moscow is 7:45. The time of arrival in Wroclaw is 11:30.
I will change a plan in Warsaw (WAW), number of the flight Aeroflot-Russian Airlines 3726.
After this I will fly to Wroclaw (WRO), to you.
I know that probably I simply must tell that I can't come to you because
I haven't the remaining sum. I know that I promised to do all by self, and
I was sure that I can. I did not want to ask you. But after I did everything I did,
I cannot simply tell that I will not come to you. I have passed through so
many difficulties, and I have overcome the most difficult. But all the
same I have disgusting feeling that I could not fulfill the promise. I am
always ready to do all what is possible,- to fulfill my promises, but at
the same time I understand that any person could get in such a situation.
To get the visa I have spent much more money than I expected. But people
were ready to help me only if I will pay them. I paid more than 400
euro to get all documents, I paid in municipal committee, in the
ministry. Even officers in army garrison have compelled me to pay for
their help. I did not expect all this, but up to the last moment I was
sure that I still can make everything. I expected that I can get a
vacation payment. We get a vacation payment after ending of a vacation.
I asked to give me this money now because I need this money urgently. But,
at the last moment I have got the answer that I can get this money urgently
only in case of serious illness or for example in case of death of the
relative. I feel so guilty. I was sure that nothing can prevent our meeting.
But I must pay remaining sum. It is 245 euro. And I must pay money
before March, 24, evening. Otherwise I will lose my nested money
and our jewelry will be sold out simply in vain. I know that I should not ask
you, and I am very ashamed to do it. And maybe I really simply had to tell
you that I can't meet with you because I could not provide my travel
completely. But I cannot simply refuse our meeting because then all my
diligence, forces, nerves, means will be spent in vain. I understand that
for you it is too big sum to lend me. You are not obliged to help me. And
400 euro which I have spent to get the visa, and 219 euro that I have
given for the ticket are huge money for me. But I want you to know that I
have given everything not for the sake of myself, but for the sake of us,
for the sake of you and me. And I was happy all this time. If you want to
meet me, to help me to make our meeting, please, send money to the help
before March, 24, evening. I want you to be confident in my sincerity, that is
why I send you the scanner of my visa. I want you to see the result of my efforts.
I address to you only because I need it right now, because the
anti- emigration committee waits for me with all documents and
I am obliged to come to committee according to appointed term.
I do not know if you can to help me. But I have no other exit. I need you.
If you can help me I will tell you what I have found out. Svetlana said that you
can help me with the help of remittance system. So I have addressed to the
nearest bank the agent ’’Western Union’’. I have been told that they use the
system ’’Western Union’’. They have told that it is very convenient office for me;
and this system works always and reliably. I give you necessary elements for
sending money with the help of ’’Western Union’’:
The name of bank: SBERBANK
CITY - Saratov
STREET – Academician Antonova, 12
ZIP - 410064
In bank I have been told, that to get the money, I must tell to employee of bank
your full name, your full address, exact sent sum and the confidential number –
Money Transfer Control Number. You will get this number in your bank
if you will send your help. Only with presence of all this information I can get your help.
I do not know what answer I will get from you. I very much am afraid that you
will not help me. But I want to tell, that I really need you, and I simply can't endure
the thought that I did almost everything, but I will not meet you. I understand that
it is big money. I have given all my forces, but together we are stronger. I really
ask you to help me. I will give you back all your money at the earliest opportunity.
I have written you honestly and sincerely. Are you with me?
Your Elena.
Thursday, 22 March 2018 06:58
Hi, my Love
Thank you for everything that you make for me. Forgive me that I have put
you in such position. I am very grateful to you for your diligence. I feel
guilty, but I want to meet you so much. Thanks for your attempts to help
me! Today I went to the agency. I asked them to give me still some time.
They have told that they agree to wait still some time. I have gone to a
pawnshop and have pawned TV. I have received for it 75 euro.
I have some days again. But I do not know where I can take still 130 euro.
I haven't anybody to address for the help any more. I should kneel? I beg you,
help me. I have addressed to the company and they gave me still some time.
They have agreed to wait, because I have given them 75 euro. Now I need
only in 130 euro. I have time. For me it is huge money. I had so much problems,
but I have overcome all. But now I need only in 130 euro. . I hope you can
help me. I'm also going to look for money. I hope our joint efforts we will
With love.
Friday, 23 March 2018 05:54
Hi my soul Pawel.
You can smile. I have found money!!!!!! I have addressed to Social
Fund of Mutual Aid and I have been funded by money. I should return this
money within 3 months. It is wonderful, because I can return money already
even in two months. My dear! Now we will meet absolutely exactly. I have
bought the ticket. I WILL ARRIVE TO YOU!!!!! I have found money. I cannot
believe in it! I have made all that in my forces and it is not vain. Now I
will see you! Can you imagine it? Now you can relax. I sincere in feelings
and that is why I have made all what I could. Now I write to you to tell,
that I all the same have found money. I have found money without your
help, and now we will meet!!!!!!!
I cannot write much. I have received your letter for a long
time ago, but I only have come for some minutes here, and I have some
minutes to write to you! You cannot imagine what occurs in my heart
and in my soul! Thoughts about our meeting make me happy! I even am
happy when I alone in my home! Do you know why?
Yesterday I began to knit a sweater for you. It will be my gift. I
knit a sweater of Angora wool. Do you like a sweater? Do you like to wear
sweater when cold in the street? But I am absolutely sure that you will
like this sweater. I make it with such big love. I make it so studiously.
It will be the best sweater in the world. Color - is slightly darkest than
white. Very beautiful color. I want to make on a front part of a sweater
an inscription - the name. First I wanted to make name - "Elena".
But now I want to make a name - Pawel. And I do not know what do you want.
The name will be not big. You have 3 days to make the decision - what name
you want to see on a chest. If you do not write to me, I will take the
decision by myself, but I will not tell you. Do you like my idea?
Soon we will be together and it will be wonderful. If we fated to become
single whole, I believe that it will be. Our hearts are like two great
oceans. They are vast and very deep yet calm an peaceful on the surface.
Our feeling run very deep and they are very strong. Sometimes we get
afraid we will be pulled under by the current. I dream that our two oceans
will meet in a powerfull wave that will shake the very earth. And when all
is done there will be one vast beautiful ocean, beautiful, powerful and heart, one ocean. Pawel you have given me much more
than you can realize. You are my prayer, my shelter from hopelessness and
despair, only you can keep the spark in my soul burning bright.
Your Elena.
Saturday, 24 March 2018 05:12
Hi my Pawel! Today is a wonderful day because today in the morning I have
again painted out the one cell in my big calendar on the wall! Now it is my
favourite deal since morning! The first thing I do now when I wake up - I cross
out a cell of the last day in the calendar, and I see that less and less days
remains up to our meeting. It is such a delightful feeling. Today as always I
wanted to jog, but I could not, Pawel!!! I simply walked on the street with
smile on my face. I did not want to jog. I simply walked, imagined you near to
me, imagined that you hold my hand. I so want to close my eyes for some time;
and then to open my eyes and to see you and your smile. I so want our dreams to
come true as soon as possible. I so want to feel for the first time the warmth
of your hand, taste of your lips. I so want, looking into your eyes, to tell
you everything what I feel! And I want to tell it in both languages! (Smile)
Here is the information I sent you:
>The number of the flight on which I will get
>the ticket is Aeroflot-Russian Airlines 2006
>The time of departure from Moscow is 7:45. The time of arrival in Wroclaw
is 11:30.
>I will change a plan in Warsaw (WAW), number of the flight
Aeroflot-Russian Airlines 3726.
>After this I will fly to Wroclaw (WRO), to you.
Your love is the air that breathes life in my body. This is the
sunshine in my soul. This is the rain that creates rivers of emotions, that
flows within me from head to toe. Your love is the warm hand that lifts me out
of myself and directs into a world unknown till now. Leaving past sorrows
behind, we will wake up in our dream together. A new beginning, a new world
with limitless possibilities. All things about which we thought that were
valuable are meaningless now. For in our love, we have found the treasures of
the heart and soul. Our ways and means that had guided us well, now do not
serve two hearts that are now one. We will be like innocent children and need
to taste, to touch and to smell all these new things. And like adolescents we
shall taste the fruits of the flesh as if for the first time, like Adam and Eva
once has felt in the Garden of Edem. It will be a paradise we have never known
before. With gentle caress and kissing of lips our passions will grow. Our
hearts will beat faster. And when time will stop still we will unite mind and
soul. Our hearts will beat as one whole. And then we will truly know, that we
have finally found each other and our love will forever grow.
My friend Svetlana has insisted that I have allowed her to write some lines for
you. She wants to do it without my help. Please do not judge her strictly. Her
English is far from perfect.
> Hi Pawel! My name is the Svetlana. I am write to you by my hand and by my
> brain. If I am write badly that you can laugh. I am know your language
> bad. But Elena is know your language well. I am is want to tell to you the
> thank you. Because I am never to saw Elena with so big the smile. She is
> laugh in the all day long. She is do not to want to work. Elena is was
> never so is happy. You is the good man. I hope you do tears at Elena
> never. I wish the you and the Elena have time well. Good bye. Svetlana.
It's me again Elena. Forgive me. I want to finish my letter by words: I do not
know what will farther. But now you have made me happy lady. I for the first
time have felt desired and necessary. I always think of you my Pawel!
With the best regards and kisses
Your Elena.
Monday, 26 March 2018 07:17
Pawel, my dear, my gentle man. Do you think of your woman Elena? (Smile). My
dear Pawel, I do not know how to live these days. It is a true test. After
all difficulties that we have together passed through, after all tests, the
only thing that holds us far apart - time. And the awaiting now is much more
difficult than everything that we did. In my thoughts I am already with you.
Even when I go to sleep, I hold close to me my favorite soft toy - the koala,
and embracing this toy I think of you (smile).
There is only a few days up to our meeting, and I do not want to work,
I do not want to jog, I do not want to go on Trip Day, I do not want anything
absolutely! (Smile). I only want departure day to come as soon as possible.
Svetlana has told that she will live with me until I will go to you. If to be
honest, I asked her about that! (Smile). And she has agreed of course. I am
afraid to stay alone now when all what I must do - simply to wait. I am afraid
of the flying bricks (smile), I am afraid of a fire and in general I am afraid
of anything that might prevent our meeting! (Smile). Therefore I have asked
Svetlana to live with me. So do not worry about me! Now every evening we chatter
about you and about our meeting. Every day Svetlana suggests me to start to
collect my suitcase. But I want to start to collect my suitcase last day of my
work! I will get a true pleasure when I will collect my suitcase because it
will be the first day of my vacation!!!! How I want this day to come. Yesterday
Svetlana has brought a souvenir for you. She wants to express her gratitude for
all what you did for me, and she asks me to present this souvenir to you. I
will not tell you what is it. But it is a Russian national souvenir! She did a
good choice!(smile) I think half of my suitcase will be occupied with gifts for
you! (Smile). Maybe I should attach a beard to my face and to become a Santa
Claus for you? (Smile). By the way, Pawel, what kind of clothes I should
take? High heels? Swimsuit? Evening dress? Shorts? Jacket? Sweater? Jeans? I
will execute any your whim! (Smile). Pawel, Svetlana constantly teases me! She
knows that I am afraid to fly by plane and constantly talks that before to sit
down into the plane I should be convinced that all tanks are filled with
kerosene and that all pilots are sober! (Smile). And first we are dared, but
then I really start to be afraid. Can you imagine, Pawel, that sometimes in
the childhood I dreamed to be a spacewoman!!! (Smile). Pawel, do you want to
find out one of my biggest dreams? I want to fly on the balloon... I dream
about it since the childhood. I am dreaming to fly up in the sky, to feel a
wind in my hair. I dream to see the Earth just as birds see it. The balloon
controlled only by a wind is a true embodiment of freedom and dream. I dream to
fly with you on the balloon above fields and rivers, above woods and lakes. It
is the best way to feel true freedom of reason, soul and body. Maybe one day
you and I will fly on our balloon. We will hold our hands and to watch all
beauty of the world remaining far under us... I am sure Pawel, that we
always will have many dreams, beautiful dreams. And I am sure that all our
dreams will come true. I know that all our dreams will come true, because just
as I you believe in beauty, in miracles. Together we can subdue any barrier,
and our common dreams will become our common aims. I believe in it. Pawel, I
have to go. I should work some days and then I will be your entirely and
completely! (Smile). Tomorrow I will probably go on my last Trip Day!!! Not
with the purpose to get documents (smile). This time it will be a true Trip
Day -
to our patients. It will be the last time when I will be tired! After this
"Trip Day" I will begin preparation to my vacation! I kiss you
gently, my
Pawel! Prepare your lips, because soon they will be kissed by the Russian
woman with name Elena! (Smile).
Your Elena.
Tuesday, 27 March 2018 08:32
Hi, My Man. Can I call you - My Man? Or My Lovely Man? How was your day
Pawel? My day was wonderful. My mood simply magnificent! I shine like the
star! I feel approach of our meeting! Every morning I wake up in more best mood
than before! Today I have woken up and at all did not want to get up. I did not
want to dress, to go on street. I had no desire to jog. I did not want to
remove bed-clothes, I did not want to have breakfast, I did not want to go for
work. I simply laid on my bed, and with a smile on the face looked at the
ceiling. It was pleasure! I tried to recollect what I saw in my sleep-dream! I
simply laid, and felt that I enjoy expectation of our meeting. I have
understood that these days that I spend in constant excitement, in constant
expectation, these moments when I forget where I, and what I do, and simply
depart in my thoughts somewhere far, behind ocean, I have understood that all
this makes me happy. I hadn't it earlier. And now I simply enjoy each moment
because I always think of you and about me! I simply laid on a bed and wanted
to lay so all the day. But as you read now this letter, it means that all the
same I got up, have taken a shower, had breakfast and has come for work, but
with only one purpose - to write to you the letter!
I want to tell you my sleep-dream this night. It was something. It was
grateful. Everything began in the morning(It already my dream). I didn't
understand what day it was. But I think it was a weekend because you did not go
to work. We woke up, took a shower, had breakfast and you offered to spend the
day on nature. I didn't refuse your suggestion. We have gone to garage. But in
garage there were no cars! There were two big, beautiful, magnificent horses.
They were so wonderful. You have sat on your horse and I sat on my. You said:
Well, horse of cowboy Pawel, let's go. I loved it and said: Well, little
horse of lady Elena, let's catch up cowboy Pawel. We went out of the garage
and we shouted - LET'S GO!!!!!!!!!! I looked back and understood that I saw the
house for the first time. It was a wonderful building. We were riding for a
long time. We overtook each other and then we reached a forest. The trees
greeted us making noise with leaves. The grass near the road bended down as if
it greeted us. I was surprised. It seemed to me that we got into a magic
forest. The road on which we rode led to the river. We stopped. You offered to
walk. I agreed with you. We went along the river and saw a water-falls. The
water was falling very beautifully. But then I saw that there is a stone in the
middle of the water-fall. We came nearer and notice that the stone looked like
a heart. Then you said: Darling Elena, even the nature greets you. Then I
answered you: No, the nature greets you, Pawel. We argued and laughed. We
decided that the nature greeted both of us. We were happy. I stood and watched
the water falling. Suddenly I felt that something laid on my shoulder. It was
your hand. I turned to you. I wanted to kiss you very much. And only I
prepared.............I heard some ringing. I woke up. It was my alarm-clock. It
was time to get up. I was so disappointed. How is it? It is a pity it was only
a dream. But soon we will embody all our dreams into a reality.
Your forever Elena.
Wednesday, 28 March 2018 07:07
Hi my dear and loved Pawel! How are you? How is your mood? I hope you think
of me and take pleasure when receive and read my letters. I like to write to
you and I do it always with pleasure. I imagine you, I recollect your kind and
warm words. These are necessary for me. I like to read your letters and these
always bring to me happiness and confidence on the each tomorrow's day.
Pawel, when you will meet me, I will wear black jacket and black
trousers with strips and black boots. Under a jacket I will wear a pink blouse.
Also with itself I will have a black handbag with my documents. Also, I'll take
a black suitcase on wheels. I am very excited, I think of our meeting every day
and for me it is difficult to believe in the happiness. Really we with you will
together soon??? When I think of it my head begin to dizzy from happiness? This
is very pleasant feeling. Probably you feel like me. Yesterday in the evening
was big rain. I was at home and watched TV and thought of you my dear Pawel.
I like a rain and at this time I have lyrical mood. I like to dream when is
raining or is snowing. I think of the future at this time, I recollect the
happy moments of my life. Basically I had such moments in the childhood. But I
am not upset and I believe that I will have the happy moments in a life else
many times. Now I have you my dear Pawel and I can not think of a life
without you. Now I unite my happiness and your Pawel happiness in a one
whole. I believe that you will make me happy. I will bring to you happiness
also. Believe me, I can make it. But for this purpose is necessary a mutual
understanding and love between us. I should finish the letter. Remember I love
you and I wait for our meeting with impatience. Up to our meeting is remained a
little. We will together soon. With the best regards and with 1000000 kisses.
Your Elena.
Thursday, 29 March 2018 07:04
Hi my Pawel! My gentle! Each new day is finer than previous, first because
each new letter from you is like a hot kiss, second - because each new day
reduces quantity of unpainted sectors in my calendar!!! And if earlier in
morning I got enjoyment from jogging and taking shower, now I enjoy when I take
the pencil and I cross out the next sector in my calendar!!!!!!(smile) You
cannot imagine how I worry! I so am afraid that the train will leave a rails or
the plane will fall into the ocean! Only it can stop me!!! (Smile).
I want to tell what will be the first thing I will do when I see you. I
will rush into your embraces with tears of happiness on eyes and with a smile
on the face. I will embrace you and I will necessarily KISS YOU. It will be our
first kiss. Necessarily! I cannot resist against my desire to kiss you. I so
want that these days passed faster. I would like to close eyes for one instant.
Then to open and see you. But as though I did not try, I see the same things.
I would like to give you Pawel a song. But I am afraid, that it is hardly
possible. I do not know such wonderful melodies and words. All in comparison
with you is insignificant.
I would like to give you Pawel dance, the most important on your life. But
if music will cease to play, likely I at once will die.
I every day and every night call happiness. I have lost the way in a dark wood.
Only you in my ideas. All my hopes and dreams are connected only to you. I want
to be with you.
I would like to give you Pawel the sky together with the sun which is born
in the East. There where dreams, not reducing flight achieve its purpose, and
are embodied in a reality. There I and you will not be lonely.
I would like to lead you Pawel in a garden, there where my good dreams
ripen. Only hardly I can go beside you, because I will become transfixed with
your breath.
I would like to give you Pawel happiness, that nobody will challenge. But
frequently my heart torn on parts, because between us ocean.
The God has give me a voice and I would like to sing a lullaby to you. But the
pain has captured my throat. This pain cannot be removed with hand, it is
impossible to remove with prick. Only your kiss can relieve me of my tortures.
Whisper to me on an ear that you miss me. And I will be the happiest woman on
Earth. Without you it is terrible. Give me light in your window. And I will pay
to you by my fidelity and tenderness.
You are My!
Your Elena!
Friday, 30 March 2018 06:33
Hi My Dearest Pawel! My dear! How are you! I thought that when I will
receive the visa, I will become quiet and nothing will worry me. But I can do
nothing. I worry. Every day, every minute, I am waiting for the moment when all
problems will stay behind, and I will hear your voice HI MY Elena! Every evening
Svetlana comes to me home. I so am happy. Yesterday we together collected my
luggage. By the way, your sweater is practically ready! I will finish it in a
train! Today I will cannot fall asleep! I know it! I very impressionable woman.
Svetlana today again will come to me home. Soon I will sit on a train and my
travel will begin! Can you imagine? I am so afraid to fly in the
plane. I want to have a parachute! (Smile). Forgive for my silly ideas. I so
want to put my head on your shoulder and to tell: ''How long I searched for you
in my life''. I will tell it silently, but you will hear!
By the way, I will write to you before my trip from Internet - cafe! I
cannot believe that today the last day of my work! I at all do not work today,
only sign documents to go on a vacation. Tomorrow have begun my vacation, and
together with it - the first day of my new life! I know that it will be a new
life because these feelings, and days which have already made me happy, I will
cannot delete from memory never! Leaving past sorrows behind, we will awaken in
our dream together. A new beginning, a new world, with limitless possibilities.
All things we thought were valuable are meaningless now. For in our love, we
have found the treasures of the heart and soul. Our ways and means that had
guided us, will become crossed and our narrow paths will become plaited into
one big beautiful road! We will be as innocent children, to taste, touch, and
smell all new things in our life. And as adolescents, we shall taste the fruits
of the flesh as if for the first time, like Adam and Eve once felt in the
Garden of Eden. It will be a paradise we have never known before. With gentle
caress', and kissing of lips, our passions will grow. Our hearts will beat
faster. And when time stands still, we will unite mind, and soul. Our hearts
will beat as one. It is then we will truly know, that we have finally found
each other, and our love will forever grow. I have to go. Please, think of me!
I worry so much today! What will be tomorrow I at all can imagine! Many kisses.
Your Elena.
Monday, 2 April 2018 06:23
Hi my Pawel! I came to the clinic to quickly write you a letter. The day
today is so wonderful. The sun is shining. The weather is good. I wanted to be
this day near to you. I have imagined that we sit at a little table, burn two
candles, in glasses sparkles champagne. Silent music plays, and you invite me
to slow dance. I nestle to you, and put my head to you on a breast. You gently
embrace me and whisper gentle words to me on an ear. I close eyes. You gentle -
gentle kiss me. I thaw in your embraces. Then we extinguish candles and we
remain alone with our desires and feelings. I very much wanted it. I know that
it will be very soon. Get my kiss.
My dear Pawel, you are everything that is beautiful in this world.
When there is Hate, you are the Love that conquers it.
When there is Sadness, you are the Smile that brings happiness.
When there are Tears, you are the Hands that dries them.
When there is War, you are the Peace that calms it.
When there is Pain, you are the Medicine that heals it.
When there is Suffering, you are the Joy that ends it.
When there is Love, You - heart which is filled with this love.
Now I will finish my letter I will go to railway station. I so worry. In some
minutes I will go to Moscow. I pray God so that everything will be well. I will
try to write to you from airport, there must be Internet - cafe. I will arrive
to Moscow on April, 03. As soon as I will arrive to Moscow I will go to the
airport and I will write to you the letter. OK? Don't worry about the date.
I'm going
to Moscow in advance. From work it is necessary to take the documents to the
Ministry of Health. As I go to Moscow these documents have asked me to bring.
But this is also a plus. I was paid the way to Moscow. Have issued my trip to
as business trip. Wish me luck and happy journey. I go to you. My travel
My hands have shiver. I very much worry. I will think of you. Please check
your e-mail!!!!!
I have to go.
Your Elena!!!!!! I kiss you!!!!!!
Tuesday, 3 April 2018 06:21
Hi my love! Now I am in Moscow. I have specially arrived
beforehand to not be late aboard the plane. But now I have a problem.
I cannot get registration and the sanction in anti-immigration
committee. I have been informed that according to the law for Citizens of
Russia who leave our country with visa without residence permit, if I go
to your country I am obliged to have cash as confirmation that I possess
monetary resources. I can't receive sanction to get registration at the
airport. I am obliged to show them at least 1000 euro. If I have at
least 1000 euro I will receive registration and the sanction of
anti-immigration committee. The law obliges me to have money as
confirmation, that in your country I will have money resources
for existence and livelihoods during that time which I will spend
there. I should show 1000 euro. If I will show money, I will
receive confirmation that I possess monetary resources and I will
get the official sanction to leave my country with the visa.
Nobody informed me that I should have cash. These rules entered
recently and I couldn't know about it. Many people faced with such
problem. The customs officer told me that it is American sanctions
against Russia. Payment systems Visa and Master Card blocked payments
from russian credits cards and many Russian tourists in the different
countries couldn't receive money for livelihood and for a meal.
Therefore they demand that all leaving Russia should have cash.
Otherwise they have no right to let me go to your country. I have my
vacation money 700 euro, I have received before my departure but it is not
enough. Please, as soon as possible send me 300 euro. I will show this money
and I will receive the sanction. This money are necessary for me only to show at
I should not pay anything. I simply should show money and then
I can leave customs house. Please, send me money as soon as possible because
I have no money. Please, use system of MoneyGram because here,
at the airport, there is a agent MoneyGram and I can receive
your money. All you need is my name and the city - Moscow, Russia!
Please do not forget to write to me number Reference Number when you send your
My nerves on a limit. I got the formal notice, according
to which I should have money to leave my country according to the law.
I cannot write much because I use the Internet - cafe. Here only three
computers and so many people. I should spend night in Moscow in a waiting
room. It is much more terrible than I thought. Tomorrow I again will use
Internet - cafe to receive your letter. I cannot be in Moscow for a long
time, because I have no money for a meal and a for the night lodging.
I only have slightly of meal that I took at home for my trip in a train.
I should receive the sanction of anti-immigration committee as soon as possible
because I cannot be in Moscow for a long time.
I am nervous very much. With love.
Elena Tsvizhba.
Wednesday, 4 April 2018 06:16
My love! I very much wait your help. I have good news. I hope you will be glad.
Today I have received in the Internet-cafe the letter from Svetlana, and she has
written that she asked boss to take the credit in a bank. He did it for me and
she will sent me money 100 dollars. Now I have have 800 dollars, but it is not
enough. But now i need only 200 dollars. I should not pay anything. I will give
you this money right at the airport. All I need to do - to show money! Together
we are much strong! I hope for you.
Your yesterday, your today, your for ever - Elena!
Thursday, 5 April 2018 06:13
Hi Pawel! I have lost everything what I had! I have lost everything!
I have borrowed money, I have given my savings, I have sold dear to me
things. And all for nothing. You do not know how it was difficult to make
all what I have made, to persuade all people, to collect all documents and
signatures, to had medical inspections and interview, to agree upon the
ticket, to find all money after I was refused on work. You cannot imagine
how it was difficult for me to make all what I have made and to change
something for me is simply impossibly. I so worried, I so hoped for you.
I do not know what to add. I have opened to you heart, soul, I have given
my heart to your arms. I have already lost everything. I dreamed to meet
a man with whom I fall in love, I have made all what I could. I do not
know what to tell. If you think that my broken heart deserves all this,
let will be so...
Friday, 6 April 2018 11:41
I do not understand why you write to me? You DO NOT TRUST me!
What for to continue our conversation? Explain to me.
For what to us to continue our conversation?
You have thrown out me as a toy. But in the previous
letter you have written that love me and will not throw away! BUT YOU
SO HAVE acted!!!!!!! YOU HAVE thrown me AWAY! I could not believe that
you same as well as men in Russia??? Probably you as would beat me and
kicked with foots? How I can trust you? But I still trust! Probably
you are right in that that I the silly woman. But I not the liar! I
have lost all the money! I have lost 1120 $!!! These are huge money
for me!!! But I do not think of money - this punishment to me means! I
have lost more than money... I cannot see you!!! This main thing!
I have no more money... If you really wish to see me, you need to pay my flight completely.
It is $1254 USD. Certainly if you wish. I do not force you. It should be your
decision. Certainly if you wish me to see. I tried to use the unique
chance. My vacation still proceeds. 21 more day proceeds my vacation.
I do not know when now I shall receive the vacation. Probably in a
year, it is possible in two years. I do not know. I know only that I
have fallen in love with you!!! With love for the present yours